Forgiving God? Total Surrender!

I read the other day..."If we truly want to love, we must learn how to forgive". I am inclined to believe that forgiveness unlocks chains and frees us from pain, bitterness and sorrow. But what if it were God that allowed or "inflicted" your deepest pain? Forgive God? It sounds absurd. It sounds presumptuous. It sounds even blasphemous. Who are we that we dare to think that God has done anything for which he would require or desire our forgiveness?? And yet...there are times we find ourselves in situations where we face resentment and bitterness for the things God seems to have allowed. In those times, how do we turn our eyes and hearts and look with love to a God that seems to have betrayed our hope and confidence? How do we accept, with joy his divine direction when it seems to be leading us into more pain, discomfort and heartache? It is in my mind that forgiveness is not for the sake of the "offender" but for our own sake. When I forgive, I let go of resentment, bitterness, offenses, etc... All these things would rot and kill ME on the inside, not the offender. So with that thought, for all of the accusations that the enemy has ladled against my God and for all of the presumed offenses, hurts, pains that it appears God has allowed, or caused...I let it go. We must let it Go. Not because God needs our/my forgiveness, but because holding on to the pain and perceived offenses will only destroy us/me on the inside and hinders our faith and true healing.  The remedy? Let Go, Let God. The method? Seek him, love him, declare your love for him, draw nigh and don't withdraw, acknowledge the hurt...don't live in denial, take it one day, one hour, one moment at a time! "If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive." Perhaps this is the lesson that God is trying to impart. Can I love the one who seems to hurt me, deceive me, betray me? We know that he is NOT doing these things, but when it seems that he is, can I forgive and let go and love him anyway? That's how true love is borne! Not through the good times, but through the bad! And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. (Mark 12:30 KJV) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. (James 4:7-10 KJV) For thou art my lamp, O Lord: and the Lord will lighten my darkness. For by thee I have run through a troop: by my God have I leaped over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him. (2 Samuel 22:29-31 KJV)

And were beyond measure astonished, saying, He hath done all things well: (Mark 7:37a KJV)

Excerpt from "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard

The laughter died out of His face and very seriously He asked, "Do you love Me enough to be able to trust Me completely, Much-Afraid?"

She looked at him in the usual startled fashion so natural to her whenever she sensed that He was preparing her for a new test, then faltered, "You know that I do love you Shepherd, as much as my cold little heart is capable.  You know that I love You and that I long to trust You as much as I love You, that I long both to love and trust You still more."

"Would you be willing to trust me," He asked, "even if everything in the wide world seemed to say that I was deceiving you - indeed, that I had deceived you all along?"

She looked at Him in perplexed amazement. "Why, yes," she said, "I'm sure I would, because one thing I know to be true, it is impossible that You should tell a lie. It is impossible that You should deceive me. I know that I am often very frightened at the things which You ask me to do," she added shamefacedly and apologetically, "but I could never doubt You in that way.  It's myself I am afraid of, never You, and though everyone in the world should tell me that You had deceived me, I should know it was impossible.

"O Shepherd," she implored, "don't tell me that You think I really doubt You, even when I am most afraid and cowardly and despicably weak. You know - you know I can trust You. In the end I know I shall be able to say Thy gentleness hath made me great."

He said nothing for a little, only looked down very tenderly, almost pitifully at the figure now crouching at his feet. Then, after a time, He said very quietly, "Much-Afraid, supposing I really did deceive you? What then?"

It was then her turn to be quite silent, trying to grasp this impossible thing He was suggesting and to think what her answer would be. What then? Would it be that she could never trust, never love Him again? Would she have to be alive in the world where there was no Shepherd, only a mirage and a broken lovely dream? To know that she had been deceived by One she was certain could not deceive? To lose him?

Suddenly she burst into a passion of weeping, then after a little while looked straight up into His Face and said, "My Lord - if You can deceive me, You may. It can make no difference. I must love You as long as I continue to exist. I cannot live without loving you."

He laid His hands on her head, then with a touch more tender and gentle than anything she had ever felt before, repeated as though to Himself, "If I can, I may deceive her." Then without another word He turned and went away.

"All The Way My Savior Leads Me" 

by Fanny Crosby and Robert Lowry

All the way my Savior leads me;

What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy,

Who through life has been my Guide?

Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,

Here by faith in Him to dwell!

For I know, whate’er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well;

For I know, whate’er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,

Cheers each winding path I tread;

Gives me grace for every trial,

Feeds me with the living Bread.

Though my weary steps may falter,

And my soul athirst may be,

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! A spring of joy I see;

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me

O the fullness of His love!

Perfect rest to me is promised

In my Father’s house above.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,

Wings its flight to realms of day

This my song through endless ages—

Jesus led me all the way;

This my song through endless ages—

Jesus led me all the way.